| <01:05 a.m.>rock hen roll!!
Tuesday, July 24, 2001
So Deirdre is still in town and we are about to film our dance-in-your-underwear-to-Poison's 'Unskinny Bop' video. It promises to be epic.
She arrived Friday and was greeted by me.. in my underwear! Attempting to make my bed. We quickly, got changed, started drinking and rocking to Maiden, Priest, Poison, etc... then headed down to the Molson Amphitheatre to pick up our VIP passes, wearing skirts that kinda showed our underwear. Now, in case you are an absolute moron, the theme here is POISON .....and underwear.So we missed Enuff Z Nuff but they suck so that's cool, but unfortunately we also missed Quiet Riot. Cum on feel the disappointment. My pal Amanda came and escorted us to the VIP tent where we acquired some more overpriced Molson Canadian. mmm mmm!
Jani Lane from Warrant, we noticed, has gotten a little bit puffy in the face like our former president JFK, and has a bit of a beer gut hovering above his skinny rocker legs... he was also breakin a MAD sweat, and while his cheeks were bright red like Santa, he did NOT give us any presents, including letting us touch his rock junk. Bret Michaels from Poison on the other hand, was spritely and tight-assed and weighing in at a svelte THIRTY EIGHT YEARS OLD! Uh-huh! Had Deirdre been a male, she would have popped a huge boner upon seeing him hit the stage. We rocked out to every song as Deirdre wrote the set list down on a small piece of paper. We were standing on the seats for 'I Want Action' and some dumb girl tapped me and was "i can't see" but instead of telling her to go EAT A DICK, I merely stepped down and rocked out from ground level.
After the amazing pyrotechnics-enhanced show, we ventured back to the VIP tent and waited for Amanda to return with our free drinks...as we were waiting at this large table, a group of slightly overweight assbags flashed some metallic sticks in our general direction. Although deirdre's eyesight is none too perfect, her inner beef radar inspired her to shout out across the tent "Yo is that BEEF JERKY?!!" And, in fact, it was. She went over and retrieved it for our table and I helped the poor thing open the shiny wrapper. When they offered seconds... Deirdre did not back down. We got sick of waiting so we broke into the bumper boat corral at Ontario Place and took goofy pictures of ourselves in lifejackets and in bumper boats. If anyone asked what we were doing we planned to say we were "dyking out." Oh yeah, and in addition to this we were maternity models from Dallas.
Anyhoo, the next night was my supposed birthday party with keira but surprise I got retarded and took like a whopping TWO pictures so there goes my killer birthday wesite idea. oh well. Michael and his new girlfriend picked me and Dee up at the 7-11 parking lot (class) and we entertained/made them feel really uncomfortable I think. awesome. Dee tells me I drank loads.. I don't really remember. 20 minutes after that giant pot brownie keira gave me and the plot is just lost. Fun times though, fun times. Somehow we ended up at Blow-Up and I was all "I can't deal with this" so we left after like 7 minutes.
Once we were on the street we erupted with laughter. the funny part, in case you couldn't tell was that he put an accent on the TAN rather than the SAY in satanist. And the fact that he brought it up like it was some normal thing like "oh yeah? My friend subscribes to Cat Fancy!" hell-O!
Today we went down to Rotate This and bought things and then it started to get "bad"... by this I mean thundereen. So Deirdre got a veggie dog, which you can't do in NYC, and then we went to Tortilla Flats to hide. We just watched Orgazmo, bought more cigarettes at the 7-11 and like, I said earlier are about to FILM A FUCKING POISON DANCE VIDEO IN OUR UNDERWEAR!!!
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